Recently, Part of me was thinking about the project, and the other part was thinking not to thinking the others. I just couldn’t focus. I had tried to watch movies and went to galleries. After 1 minute I started thinking how can I figure out the solution for my project. I was in stuck deeply. Everything I did make me guilty because I blamed myself.
Now, everything — presentation, project finished. Well, still my thinking is going on, so technically it is not done yet I guess. The Blur of thinking started to wind up with tagged parts of ideas. I believe it was necessary to have this time. It was needed to tide up the direction of my entire projects. From the beginning, whimsicalness attacked me and confused me what was I wanted. Before I got in my school, I believed I am sure about my taste. Even I was telling my friends this is a merit to getting old. Because I thought older I am, wiser I could be. Every time I found someone’s essays, I realised how much I was ignorant in Design and Life or even about my natural inclination.
I don’t know me.
Of course, it should be. I’ve never thought about thoroughly what indeed I am chasing. Just like a hunting dog, only looking for a hare that I wanted to catch. I knew I like it, but didn’t know why I like it.
Asking question myself is, I believe, very critical. If you started to think about happiness and seeking what is the sufficient condition for the happiness, before you practically deepening inside, you should ask yourself what is happiness means to you. Lay solid foundation stone and start to build up — or side whatever. But, I didn’t. I didn’t even think about it should be the question.
Foucault said, “truth is already power”. Therefore, I believe, perhaps Questioning or doubting about the truth is the vehicle to acquire the power as a designer. The designer has no authority. They even cannot survive if there isn’t an audience who is willing to listen to designer’s voice. Echo will scatter to the nowhere without a listener. As Foucault claimed if truth is the power, only the vehicle designers could reach the authority must be “Question”.
I failed to understand how Questioning is critical. I even couldn’t get authority over myself.
Thinking is monologue. A soliloquy question. We are not thinking about the answer which already inherent ourselves. We are thinking about the question to seek the answer that we yet find. Frankly, throwing the Right question is not the easy job. Need to be fully prepared and understood the background. If not, as if shoot the bent arrow, how hard I shot repetitively, it will be gone over to the forest.
Yet, I don’t know how to question through my design. I’m trying from “Me”. I just started to make the inquiry about myself.