For a long time, I was not able to write my thought. It was because, after I started living in new place, full of new ideas filled me up until be fed up.
When new ideas emerged into my life, I started get too much excitement and keep thinking only about one thing ’till I satisfy. Normally, I do research through the internet. I like reading a book, but I like more internet sources as a live thinking flowing. In spite of its shallowness, it has freshness around us. After few days of thinking, finally I start internet researching. This part is very important in order to find the interest of the topic – is it the topic that I can continue without get bored?, is it the story that I can make final work? If it proved by me (haha), main researching is started. Books and essays, checking the credibility. It is most time consuming term for one project.
Most of the idea could not pass the “Internet research” part. Sometimes ideas are interesting but I cannot imagine the final work, sometimes because source is not enough to make, and sometimes it was actually not so fine idea.
I use to doing my work on my way and my pace ( as above description ). However, after I started new life as a fresher in the university, everything makes me confused and lost. Like seize-up by excess of information, my brain is divided two part. New me and Old me.
Old me, do not go museum a lot ( once in a while ), go to the movie theater instead. Old me, do not read philosophical books, read sci-fi or mystery books instead. Old me, do not design about changing, design about existence in order to understand world. Old me, do not believe man’s inborn nature is good, believe human nature is fundamentally evil and that is the reason why we should make a desperate efforts to be good. Old me, do not believe that I have heard, believe the fact after skeptically doubted. Old me, keep asking about everything to the others and to myself. Old me, do not think I am a good person, therefore I should effort to be a good one.
Old me, do not think design as a tool of changing the world ( to Utopia ), but believe that design is a journey of finding the answers. Finally, Ole me likes new and fresh matters. As if old me have got interested about finding new me and trying to cast old skin off, abandoning old me.
Old me, does not want to change. It is because loss of comfort from familiarity. Also, scared of disappearing itself. Old me – Memory, is the one of symbol for familiarly. If there was no piled memory, there is no familiarity either.
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[…] months passed by after I wrote New but Familiar (1). I was frightened by changing. When I tried to read my past writings, I realised how much words I […]